literature

The Sun is Melting

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emirasmussen's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

Starting at the top,
golden droplets glide
down the gooey surface
of the sky's light bulb.
Like a melting ice cube
the giant star disintegrates.
Liquid sunshine leaks
onto the earth's crust
staining the globe.
Finally, after every drop
paints the ground
the sky goes dark
but the earth stays awake
for light still emanates
from splattered sundrops
which lay littered
across our home.
All comments and faves are much appreciated!
Also, if you have any suggestions for how to make it better, please say so. I may be editing it in the future because there are still a few things I don't like.

Thanks so much for reading :D

:iconthewrittenrevolution:
Does this poem mean anything to you, do you think it has a deeper meaning, or is the image the only thing that matters to you. Do you think the poem should be longer, or do you like the length? Thanks!
© 2009 - 2024 emirasmussen
Comments20
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TheMaidenInBlack's avatar
:iconthewrittenrevolution:

Great concept and idea, although I feel it lacks some intensity to be truly wonderful... an additional stanza, maybe, or some verses more?